The Return of the McRib

originally written for The Emory Wheel: Arts & Living (www.emorywheel.com)

2 December, 2010

McDonald’s munchers have always remained deliciously dedicated to their brand. Every few years, this McMob mentality reaches its peak as the restaurant re-releases, for a limited time only of course, the McRib. This creative culinary concoction consists of a rib-shaped pork patty squeezed between a six-inch roll with barbeque sauce, pickles and onions.

Like most cult classics, the initial release of the McRib was commercially disappointing. McDonald’s first added the sandwich in 1981, but poor sales figures resulted in the sandwich being removed as a permanent menu item. Instead, the McRib became a promotional menu item, appearing annually for a few weeks.

Even with its limited exposure, the McRib managed to integrate itself into fast-food pop culture. In 1994, when the live-action movie “The Flintstones” was released, McDonald’s brought back the McRib with Flintstones characters decorating the box. The sandwich was even featured in the movie, served at “RocDonald’s.”

In 2003, McDonald’s gained a marketing idea from another American institution: Homer Simpson. In a “Simpsons” episode, Homer becomes a “Ribhead,” following Krusty Burger’s “Ribwich” around the country. Two years later, in 2005, the McRib was back on a “McRib Farewell Tour.” McDonald’s created a “Save the McRib” petition on the McRib website, sponsored by the fictitious “Boneless Pig Farmers Association of America.” In 2006, the McRib began its second farewell tour, confirming for frantic fast-food fans that the McRib was not gone for good.

This year, for the first time in 16 years, the McRib became available nation-wide on Nov. 2. This release date, coinciding with the biggest midterm elections of the decade, garnered some negative attention from parody pundit Stephen Colbert. In his Oct. 28 broadcast, Colbert said, “Clearly this is a calculated political ploy by McDonald’s. The return of the McRib on election day is a concerted effort by liberals to suppress Republican turnout. If you’re waiting in line for a McRib, you can’t be waiting in line to vote.”

Whether the McRib is a “tool of the liberal agenda” or just a slab of misshapen mystery meat, its promotional release will be ending on Dec. 5. Grab one soon because at 48 percent saturated fat and 23 percent cholesterol, you’ll have just enough time to work it off before the McRib is back next year.

In 2006, FoodFacts.info deconstructed the McRib, revealing that massive amounts of pressure are applied to the McRib patty to create its shape. Maybe I’m the only one, but pulverized pork doesn’t really sound that appetizing (or edible). The website also lists the “nutritional value” of the product: 500 calories, 240 calories from fat, 26g fat, 10g saturated fat, 70mg cholesterol, 980mb sodium, 44g carbohydrates, 3g fiber, 22g protein, 11g sugars. Frequent fast-food followers would remind me that most fast-food tends to be ridiculously unhealthy (KFC Double Down anyone?). So what is it that keeps us going back to these “restaurants”?

It’s because fast food is as much a part of our pop culture as anything else. Anyone who knows the lyrics to a Lady Gaga song can just as easily sing you “Five Dollar Foot Long.” We grew up playing with the toys from our Happy Meals. When we learned how to drive, we learned how to drive through. Fast food even managed to slip into our education. Economics classes explain purchasing power through the Big Mac Index. Political science classes study Thomas Friedman’s Golden Arches Theory to explain the relationship between development and war. It’s even hit the Twitter-sphere, with tweets ranging from “The best thing since cell phones and Nintendos” to “Worst heartburn I ever had.”

Then there’s the patriotic side. There’s something oddly American about a Big Mac. It’s comforting to know that whether you’re President Obama or on the White House janitorial staff, you can share in the joys of rapidly-refried food.

So, as you line up for the newest “Harry Potter” or eagerly await Kanye’s new album, make sure you grab a McRib to finish that perfect pop-culture picture. You’re sure to love it.